29.11.2023 (i know i need to earn it)

got up 9am, went jog in gym for 200 calories, then shower n ready to go studio

sleep n rest does help. sometimes i wonder how u function. if i use discipline and routine to minimize emo, does that mean it is dealt with? i know that when it's making me not want to live, and when depression is not letting me work, i should try to deal with it. im glad i got to hav u open doors for me to get to the adorable child inside u. that image of u stays in my mind forever.

i notice my pattern to amplify sentiments, both happiness and sadness, but what is the normal way to do it? or what is the appropriate amount i wonder. forgetting is human nature / flaw / strength. but i think remembering is also human nature / flaw / strength. there's no identity or growth without memory. so i guess i should try to experiment with the right balance.

I rmb u would always remember I said u r like a wild card. That's becos I always fear being abandoned n u being a person who can jump wire n who needs a lot of freedom sometimes are sometimes unpredictable. Now I think I little differently. Whether u are a wildcard shouldn't be important. Reason to be with a person shouldn't be whether there is risk of being abandoned.