22.12.2023 (limerence)

i heard u mentioned the word "limerence" quite a few times.

tonight i watched some youtube about it. seems like it's another word for romantic thoughts of escaping reality?

they mentioned that the cause is usually childhood neglect. so that's us. i think i might have told you how i felt left alone when i was a kid. n i had a few experiences where i felt mistreated by the domestic helper and my parents were always not at home (which i now know i cant blame them, they were busy working / studying).

from the very little i know about ur family, i remember watching some videotapes of you as a kid. that soup incident. i could see that u were a fun quirky kid that had different thoughts but felt neglected. i also remember u vaguely mentioning how u didnt like how ur relatives always blocked you from talking. so there is our childhood neglect i guess.

mayb u are thinking we are or partly limerence. i dunno if that's the case n sometimes mayb hard to define stuff... to me it is love. even with the childhood neglect background and with the definition of "loving unavailable ppl". i still believe if we got the right timing and when we are both sort of more emotionally mature, we could do well tgt... maybe not as work partners... but life partners... i think so. at least could be very gd frds i know.