17.6.2024 (she made me vy angry today)

i was in okay mood these 2 days, altho yesterday wasn't very productive, but i try to be more of an adult and take care of my life a little more. tonight she returned from Beijing work trip. During the 30-40min dinner, she was on work phone for at least 30 minutes, and I was black facing all the time, saying can't you just focus on eating for 10 minutes. She thinks she is all entitled to do that and it's me not understanding her work. YET, at 930pm she booked massage downstairs and went for a massage for 2 hours. So she has time for 2 hour massage but no time for a 20 min phone-free dinner. She is not aware that for over 2 years she has been never putting work down. She is not present, and thus we really have a difficult time connecting. I have said it hundreds of times but she can't do the most simple thing of sitting quietly for 20 min to eat or watch netflix or something. So what can i do.

i remember us talking about 'undivided attention'. I'm sure you and I know very well what it means. But turns out many people probably don't get it.